People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We are two peas in an std pod
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
