I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
