conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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