I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
