Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
