Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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