Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
