I hate all girls vehemently.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
