nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize