Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
