I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
