so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
