i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
