For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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