Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Do vagina's smell?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
