we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
