guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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