So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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