her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
