i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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