Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
