Are we in a gay sports bar?
I want to have your abortion
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
