you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Two words: nipple clamps
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