Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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