Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days