wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
