I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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