Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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