hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
