I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
