I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
