genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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