all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
