areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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