Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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