we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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