I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she looked like the before picture.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
