If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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