I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
