everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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