OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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