Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
