Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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