I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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