I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
