How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
