Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
