I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
