i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
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I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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