Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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