There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
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So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
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i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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