but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
