Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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