dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
only you would photoshop your dick
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
