i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
