The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
