just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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