Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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