he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
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She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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