considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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