Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
