i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
