so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The ass gains better be worth it
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