I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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