He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
