I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
