dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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