There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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