um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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