Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
