I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
