Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
