I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
