am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
