there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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